My Confession
Customer at Starbucks: You used to work at that restaurant down the road didn't you?
Me: Yep. Sure did.
Customer: I remember you mentioning that you ski. Have you hit the slopes a lot this season?
Me: Yep. Sure have.
Customer: Would you want to maybe get together sometime for coffee...well I guess you work at a coffee shop....maybe we could do something else?
Me: I'm dating someone right now. (a lie)
Customer: Oh really? How long have you been dating?
Me: A couple of months now. (another lie)
Customer: So it must be serious!?!
Me: Very! (I cant stop lying now that I've started right!?!)
Customer: Ok. Well I'm sure I'll see you around. Let me know if things don't work out and maybe we can go skiing together sometime.
So I don't know where all of this came from. I don't know how I could look this person straight in the eye and with complete conviction and sincerity, lie right to his face about my dating status. It's been probably two months since my last real date so a serious "relationship" is not even a remote part of my vocabulary right now. I don't consider myself a habitual liar, but the string of lies came out of my mouth with no control. As if every bit of it was true. And the poor chump believed me. That's whats amazing. With skills like this, I should be hired out by a secret agency or something.
Me: Yep. Sure did.
Customer: I remember you mentioning that you ski. Have you hit the slopes a lot this season?
Me: Yep. Sure have.
Customer: Would you want to maybe get together sometime for coffee...well I guess you work at a coffee shop....maybe we could do something else?
Me: I'm dating someone right now. (a lie)
Customer: Oh really? How long have you been dating?
Me: A couple of months now. (another lie)
Customer: So it must be serious!?!
Me: Very! (I cant stop lying now that I've started right!?!)
Customer: Ok. Well I'm sure I'll see you around. Let me know if things don't work out and maybe we can go skiing together sometime.
So I don't know where all of this came from. I don't know how I could look this person straight in the eye and with complete conviction and sincerity, lie right to his face about my dating status. It's been probably two months since my last real date so a serious "relationship" is not even a remote part of my vocabulary right now. I don't consider myself a habitual liar, but the string of lies came out of my mouth with no control. As if every bit of it was true. And the poor chump believed me. That's whats amazing. With skills like this, I should be hired out by a secret agency or something.
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My confession part two: After this little interaction I actually regretted lying and reconsidered (but he was long gone at this point). And it's probably good that he was long gone cause the whole fact that I reconsidered was not because I felt bad about lying, but due to the fact that my friends at the restaurant used to speak of his wealth whenever he would come in. He moved here from Mexico a few years ago and because of his very well spoken English, I can tell that he is very educated. At the restaurant we were never really sure exactly how connected or how wealthy he was back in the mother country, but we could tell there were some funds coming from somewhere. It might be nice to date a rich guy again. It's addicting. So I'm glad he left before I could say anything else. Money isn't everything afterall. Right? Tell me it isn't everything. ;)
My confession part three: Usher is possibly the hottest person to have ever stepped foot on this planet. (Hense the title of this blog). Why doesn't he ever come into Starbucks and ask me to get a cup of coffee?
Maybe the title of this blog would be more appropriately:
Carly's Jacked-Up Priorities
-or-
Why Carly is Doomed Eternally to Have Failed Relationships
-or-
Usher is the Hottest Guy Ever
It must have been the aphrodisiac!
Oh man. That thing was soooo good. I want to learn how to mix those up myself. Maybe I could start a new Starbucks drink and become a millionaire for my great ideas.
that could be dangerous.
me being a millionaire or mixing up aphrodisiacs all day?
Both of them are fine with me.
you mixing drinks for millionaires
Oh yeah, telling some "poor chump" you're already with somebody, the secret services havent seen skills like that before. I thought girls practiced that line at night so until its ingrained in their cerebellum, like instinct. Heck I get that line from girls just for making eye contact.
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