A New Walk

A few weeks ago, I thought about staying in Thailand for a second semester. Now that we have officially wrapped up with finals this semester, the 2 months that I have remaining in Thailand are ticking away faster than I would have ever anticipated. The thought of leaving my students after only six months seems incredibly depressing. Especially the students that have really touched my heart in one way or another. (Particularly a 14 year old named New in my Reading/Writing class and a few of her M3 classmates. I will tell the story of New someday soon, I promise, but for now let me just say that she is my sister in Thailand that I never knew until now.) I have my kiddos, my laundry lady’s pleas for me to stay, and the few friendships I’ve made around town pulling me one direction, and in the other direction the pull of mountains covered in snow, my skis in the closet, who the expat missionaries at the house-church I attend in Saraburi refer to as my “Colorado Magnet” (aka Jason), special family holidays and my dear friends in the states.

Going through the decision making process about whether to stay or not, I am reminded of a good friend who recently decided to leave the life she had come to know in Denver, and return to her home state in the Mid-West. Remembering the thoughts that she shared through that process encouraged me greatly in the decision of my own because like myself, she was leaving dear children that she had been mentoring for a long time, and the feelings of guilt and anxiety about leaving them at times was overwhelming. She left though, and I think so will I. There comes a point where you can no longer take responsibility for each individual (or in my case each individual’s English education) and trust that God has used you to equip them for good things in their future, independent of your consistent involvement. God’s love for His children here at SBW is so apparent and I trust fully on His continuous pursuit of their precious hearts for many years to come, with or without me.