There's Something in the Water

A week ago I was fortunate enough to experience culture. No matter how "fascist" bouncers at random bars in Denver might claim, it was still a great event to witness for me, a typical product of the American melting pot. The event was a celebration of the Dutch heritage that a particular town shared in reflection of the mother land's celebration of blooming tulips and new spring time weather. One of the highlights was when all of the surrounding high school kids hammed up in Dutch clothes (as unflattering as they might be) to take part in a traditional dance on the streets of the town square. The only flaw in the whole experience was that on closer inspection, all of the dancers were high school girls, half of whom were forced to dress in the traditional male costume. (Actually most of the girls didn't go to too much effort to hide their pony tails so it really wasn't hard to see through the facade). Anyways, the boys forgot to show up. Somebody forgot to tell them that the dance was happening and that they were expected to show up and celebrate their own heritage, just as the girls in the community were doing. I'm certain that the ladies would much rather dance with the boys and get to wear skirts than have to fill in the "male" rolls for themselves. Most often, the last thing femininity wants is to be forced into male rolls when the true desire is just to dress pretty and dance.

Here's where I may start to offend. I go to an amazing church. At my church are some of the most amazing women I've ever met. Women who have enthusiasm, sincerity, acceptance, and beauty on so many levels. It always strikes me as odd though, how much trouble most of us have when it comes to romantic relationships. Either we desire to have a date and have to initiate it ourselves ,or often we arrange night after night of "girls night" just to avoid sitting at home pondering why all of the men have forgotten to show up. There are exceptions of course, but just as general rule, we girls struggle.

I don't know why it is, but our 20th century American culture seems to be saying that its OK for guys not to show up. I see the guys who have taken steps to show up as exceptions rather than the norm. I wonder why this is? Obviously to have a "traditional dance" to mimic in the first place, some boys in history would have shown up. Obviously to have a very small number of my female friends happily involved in relationships (or satisfactorily single in some case rather than distraught and angst driven in their singleness), there are some boys that have decided to be exceptional and show up on occasion. What's not obvious though is why there is such tolerance and acceptance in our culture for boys who refuse playing the counterpart rolls to our femininity. Any ideas?