There's Something in the Water

A week ago I was fortunate enough to experience culture. No matter how "fascist" bouncers at random bars in Denver might claim, it was still a great event to witness for me, a typical product of the American melting pot. The event was a celebration of the Dutch heritage that a particular town shared in reflection of the mother land's celebration of blooming tulips and new spring time weather. One of the highlights was when all of the surrounding high school kids hammed up in Dutch clothes (as unflattering as they might be) to take part in a traditional dance on the streets of the town square. The only flaw in the whole experience was that on closer inspection, all of the dancers were high school girls, half of whom were forced to dress in the traditional male costume. (Actually most of the girls didn't go to too much effort to hide their pony tails so it really wasn't hard to see through the facade). Anyways, the boys forgot to show up. Somebody forgot to tell them that the dance was happening and that they were expected to show up and celebrate their own heritage, just as the girls in the community were doing. I'm certain that the ladies would much rather dance with the boys and get to wear skirts than have to fill in the "male" rolls for themselves. Most often, the last thing femininity wants is to be forced into male rolls when the true desire is just to dress pretty and dance.

Here's where I may start to offend. I go to an amazing church. At my church are some of the most amazing women I've ever met. Women who have enthusiasm, sincerity, acceptance, and beauty on so many levels. It always strikes me as odd though, how much trouble most of us have when it comes to romantic relationships. Either we desire to have a date and have to initiate it ourselves ,or often we arrange night after night of "girls night" just to avoid sitting at home pondering why all of the men have forgotten to show up. There are exceptions of course, but just as general rule, we girls struggle.

I don't know why it is, but our 20th century American culture seems to be saying that its OK for guys not to show up. I see the guys who have taken steps to show up as exceptions rather than the norm. I wonder why this is? Obviously to have a "traditional dance" to mimic in the first place, some boys in history would have shown up. Obviously to have a very small number of my female friends happily involved in relationships (or satisfactorily single in some case rather than distraught and angst driven in their singleness), there are some boys that have decided to be exceptional and show up on occasion. What's not obvious though is why there is such tolerance and acceptance in our culture for boys who refuse playing the counterpart rolls to our femininity. Any ideas?

Late Night Ramblings

I've spent a great deal of time in recent months deciding what is important to me. In part it started with reading John Piper's "Don't Waste Your Life" with a small group from church; a book heavily weighted with the importance of living your life fully in light of reaching the end knowing that what you did matters on a scale greater than money, personal comfort, and "fitting in" with a lost culture. I've reflected on what it is that will make me feel like I'm important. Not out of pride or lofty ambitions of fame and fortune, but rather important on a level truly reflective of the One who has great purpose for me. As we were discussing during small group this week I desire to, at least in part, see myself as God see's me and to live my life accordingly.

I do know what is important on a daily basis. My friends are important. As trite as it may sound, I would do just about anything for any one of them. I also know, however, that it is not important how we treat our friends, but how we love on our enemies, that truly determines the depth and strength of our character. How's that for a soapbox statement?

I know what is important to me on a long term basis. That is my family. Both my family unit as it exists now, and also what I hope for years from now. I also know that family rarely exists exactly as we would wish it to in our creative minds and often we have to adjust our perception based on what we face before us. (Like I'm pretty sure I wanted to get married at 24, have my first kid at 26 and so on. I've adjusted to not getting all of that and suprisingly, I'm still happily optimistic.)

All of that being said, I guess really I do know what is meaningful and important in this life that I claim my own. Not neccessarily living to please my friends, but living for the people all over this world who suffer and go unnoticed. Not neccessarily living with the hope of having a family of my own someday, but knowing that what I do today matters and has eternal impact regardless of my relationship status. It's a good place to be but also very stressful. Certainly, reflection on matters such as these require a certain degree of response and action on my part. It's much easier to live passively, but maybe I'll start with scheduling a few flights at the end of this month and focusing on attaining the means to my desired end.