When Harry Met Who?... and why marriage ruins my life

Can guys and girls really ever be 'just friends'? That's a question I've discussed on many occasions and, as a couple of my bestest friends from college are men, I adamantly say "yes, it's possible." Granted maintaining a guy/girl friendship is rare, but it can happen. Hollywood wouldn't allow for it in movies because everything is sexualized and Christian youth group leaders wouldn't allow for it in fear of it becoming sexualized, but I really do believe guys and girls can maturely handle positive, uplifting friendships. Maybe I'll blog someday on why I think God may have orchestrated a close kinship with the opposite sex into my life, but for now I'll just stick with the friendship thing and what marriage has to do with any of this.

First off, I was driving this evening to an ultimate game and on the way passed a Buffalo Wild Wings. Suddenly I was bombarded by the memory of sitting at that same place about 9 months ago eating wings, drinking a beer, and watching my alma mater play b-ball with my best guy friend in the whole world. Next came memories of about 15 or so ski days last season, bars in college, bbq's in college, 4-wheelers and the closest to death I've ever been, ultimate frisbee then and now, getting severely lost on road trips, sitting at Denny's sobbing uncontrollably about a broken heart at 1am, sitting at Fazoli's with the tears streaming down again, and many hours and years of some of the deepest friendship I've shared with any other person to this date. All of these memories have the same friend in them. A friend who is a guy. Also a friend who I've never kissed, never wanted to kiss, nor ever desired to date. Just my friend, and at times my very best friend. So yes...a friendship between guys and girls IS possible. I've experienced it and its wonderful.

On the drive however, I started contemplating the first glitch in the whole friendship. He is getting married soon and I realized that I'll never have those memories with him again. That's tough to swallow. My female friends who are married still remain close and nothing has changed much, but with him, everything will change. I always reflect when I have a friend tie the knot and typically with girls, it's an exciting sort of reflection because I know that the memories wont end and the friendship will continue. With my guy friend however, the reflection takes on a tone more of "well it was fun while it lasted." Sigh. Sob. Of course its completely reasonable and appropriate that things change, but its horribly depressing to me right now. So depressing in fact, I drove about 30 minutes past the place I was suppose to exit for my ultimate game today and didn't even notice until I was way off course. Sure I can find new friends to eat wings with me and go skiing, but where will I ever find a friend who will watch Oklahoma State basketball and have every bit of their day influenced by whether we win or not, or wait for me patiently at the bottom of every mogul section on the slopes and hike back up the mountain when my skis fly in fifteen different directions? Who will listen to my tears at a restaurant and tell me how proud he is of me being "brave" as I face my biggest emotional challenges square on? It's always nice and uplifting when girls encourage me in my struggles with relationships, but to a degree it sometimes just seems dutiful. Like that's what us women folk are "suppose" to say to one another. It means something totally different when a guy takes the time to sit me down and speak some hope into my life. I'll really miss that.

I still think guys and girls can be friends. I guess it is inevitable though, that things are different and I have to adjust accordingly as difficult as that might be.

Size Doesn't Matter. Really.

Growing up I remember going to McDonald's with my parents and ordering my meal and drink. Well actually, I remember my dad ordering for me. He would always order a double cheeseburger because it was really only a few more cents for almost double the amount of food. Often I would remove the extra meat patty and feed it to the dog, which he was completely fine with because it still made economical sense to opt for the double and we were saving money on dog food. He would also order the large drink and ensure that I refilled it on the way out of the restaurant so that we optimized every penny spent. Dad is a very frugal man.

On the way home from work today after sampling about 10 different coffee drinks, I was definitely in the the mood for a salad. Believe it or not, fast food places actually have some of the best salads available these days so I stopped by Burger King, and reminiscing on my college days avoiding the cafeteria, I decided to also order small french fries. Listed on the menu were my options. Medium, Large, Extra Large. No small in sight. Isn't size relative? If given these three choices, wouldn't the so called "Medium" actually be the small? Anyways, what was served to me ordered as a small and labeled as a medium, is exactly the same size I remember from my childhood to be a large. Confusing I know. But the point I'm making is that there should be no question as to why we have obesity issues in this country. What was once considered too much and only acceptable for the biggest of appetites, is now the standard. The same goes for drinks. I remember how huge a "Big Gulp" seemed when they were first marketed, but now they seem to be the standard issue drink. And even further, if there is not enough caffeine and sugar packed into a Big Gulp, there are certainly even bigger options available.

I suppose that this is all just ultimately a reflection of American society. What's good is not good enough unless it's bigger than what your neighbor has. One person's brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee looks a little less spectacular when parked next to the neighbor's new Escalade. One person's medium fry doesn't look quite as delicious when served before the extra large to the next guy in line. The fast food industry knows how Americans operate, and there is so much strategy that goes into labeling their products. Enough in fact, that is it one of the most successful industries of our generation.

One last comment...Don't tell the guy who made that "Super-Size Me" documentary, but my dog lived to a very healthy, old age and was skinny her whole life. Seems the meat patties from McDonald's actually did her some good.

I saw the good Samaritan (and then I proceeded to kick him in the knee cap)

I'm confused. I was driving home from an Ultimate game the other night on the highway and the guy in the SUV in front of me lost control, slammed into the cement wall on the side, and finally skidded to a stop rebounding off of the wall the whole way. I managed to switch lanes in time to avoid him fortunately, but then continued on my way. I guess no one has ever told me what to do when you see an accident like this unfold in front of you. Are you suppose to pull over and offer help? What help could a 25 year old girl be anyways? I've taken tons of classes in the military about helping the wounded, but would I really remember all of that when it was most critical? Or are you suppose to call 911? I did pull out my phone and kept an eye on my rearview mirror, but by the time I started dialing the digits I noticed another car pull over and figured they probably were better equipped to handle the situation. Looking back, I realize that the proper action would have been for me to pull over and call the police and I regret not taking that initiative. I think at that time though, phrases such as "don't approach a wrecked vehicle" and be careful to "never stop on the shoulder of a highway" resignated through my mind and caused the hesitancy. And for that I feel horrible.

Once I was walking through the Chicago city streets and approached a homeless guy asking for money and handouts. I kept walking with little or no response and then felt completely wrong. I had chose to listen more to the inner voice of my parents warning me to never give to someone begging cause that would encourage them to follow me, than the inner voice of conviction telling me to give what I have because it really isn't mine anyways. And for that I feel horrible. One of my closest friends and I have had many discussions....well arguments really... on how to handle the homeless people we pass on the way to our Ultimate games. There's this big part of me that just really wants to give them all of my extra cash. His perspective is that the homeless guy is just desperate for his next high and giving money would be just fueling that addiction. To me right now, that just seems too much like an excuse to keep a thick wallet. Isn't the homeless person the one who will ultimately be held accountable for how he spends the money? For me, I will be held accountable before God on whether I ignored the homeless and continued on my way, or whether I truly took what Paul has said to heart and gave to the needy.

If I were to guess, I would imagine most of us living in this "keep what you've earned for yourself" society are confused on how to handle similar situations. Do we just keep walking when we see someone in need because our parents told us not to talk to strangers and because we think giving homeless people money just helps them buy more booze? Or do we help according to our resources and ability? Do we keep driving past the accident that we just saw unfold before our eyes, grateful that we weren't involved, or should we actually stop and take the time to get involved? I was raised in white suburbia so I tend to keep walking and to keep driving. As I grow mature in faith though, I really hope that my life shifts to reflect that of the good Samaritan, who will take a moment of time to offer roadside assistance or a few extra bucks that I would have spent on a latte that I didn't need anyways.